The Last Lecture- Lessons in Living

What will you do if you have only a few months to Live? How will you make it count? How will you ensure that your legacy is left?

Author and the Professor, Randy Paush, summarized his life and his thoughts in a concise and crisp fashion in this book called - "The Last Lecture- Lessons in Living". He was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and knew that he has only a few months to live. In this book, he explained his mental agitation in handling the news, tried to make sense from his past experiences in life and give a message to the future. I became emotional reading the last chapter where he embraces her wife, Jay, after his last lecture, kisses her as she whispers in his ears- "Please don't die!!". What a dramatic, emotional and heavy moment!

We all know that we have a limited amount of time on this planet, yet we behave as if we are here for ever. Randy has come face to face with truth because of cancer and battled bravely with it. May his soul rest in peace.

Hope we all realize this universal truth that our time is limited and we should make every second and every minute count. :)

I would like to say to my Wife,  Anusha, "I love you"!
I love you Dad & Mom and I love you my Sisters!

Top ideas/inspirations from this book

• Advice on how to negotiate better: "Never make a decision until you have to"
• If you are in a position of strength, you have to play fair
• Just because you are in the driver's seat, doesn't mean you have to run people over
• Have something to bring to the table, that will make you more welcom
• Working on Fundamentals : 
• You have got to get the fundamentals right, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work
• Good football analogy- How may are touching the ball at any moment?
• Only one! Hence we need to work on what the other 21 guys are doing :) 
• When you are screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you
• AI - Watch the movie "Star Trek" & observe Kirk's leadership skills
• Kirk was the distilled essence of a dynamic manager- a guy knew how to delegate, had the passion to inspire and looked good in what he wore to the work
• Shanter, who played Kirk, was the ultimate example of a man who knew what he didn't know, was perfectly willing to admit it, and didn't want to leave until he understood. That's Heroic to me
• Kirk- "I don't believe in No-Win scenario"
• AI - Let other people finish their sentences while they are talking. Don't prompt or suggest words
• AI - If you don't know what should be the bar for your team, just say- 
• Guys, that was pretty good, but I know you can do better
• Randy on winning Stuffed animal- 
• I didn't want anyone to know how long it took me to be successful. Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something
• Randy's mantra: 
• The brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. They are there to give us a chance to prove how badly we want something.
• Brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people. 
• Sometimes the most impenetrable brick walls are made of flesh ( about other people as hurdles)
• Do your preparation or home work on the topic before you meet any expert. This projects a good image of you and shows your preparedness. Also, it is easy to look smart when you're parroting the smart people. So go out and get knowledge from all the smart people you know
• AI- Start my Imagineer team! 
• Be supportive to your wife. If you love her, support her
• Cars should be used as Utilitarian devices and not to show social status. If you have dents and still it runs fine, I would use them
• You buy new clothes when your old clothes wear out! 
• Time Management tips
• Time must be explicitly managed like Money
• Have to-do list with small tasks of steps. Ex: Don't put get healthy. Write- go to gym 1hr
• Ask- Am I spending time on right things?
• Learn to effectively Delegate
• Take time out (no emails or business calls!)
• Only way any of us can improve is if we develop a real ability to assess ourselves. If we can't accurately do that, how can we tell if we're getting better or worse?
• Getting people to welcome feedback is the hardest thing
• Give yourself permission to dream. Fuel your Kid's dreams too! 
• Somehow, with the passage of time and the deadlines that life imposes, surrendering became the right thing to do
• Don't complain, Just work harder
• If you put one-tenth of energy you put into complaining and applied it to problem solving, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out
• AI - Read life stories of Jackie Robinson & Sandy Blatt
• Complaining doesn't work as a Strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it wont make us happier
• Treat the Disease, not the Symptoms
• Ex: She would breathe out in meditation, telling herself that her money problems would one day be behind her
• Her symptoms were stress and anxiety. Her disease was the money she owed
• AI:How can I apply this and help my father?
• Team work-
• Find things you have in common
• Try for optimal meeting conditions. Ex: find lunch, coffee etc
• Let everyone talk
• Praise each other
• Check egos at the door
• Phrase alternatives as questions:
• AI : Ex: Instead of "I think we should do A, not B", say "What if we did A, instead of B?"
• AI: Important to Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do
• This will help to understand the other person
• Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity
• It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit... and keep moving forward
• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
• Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other. Send handwritten - Thank you notes to express sincere gratitude
• Hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster
• Go out and do for others what somebody did for you
• Be prepared and have contingency plans. Ex: Randy's friend having extra bulb in projector
• How do deliver apology: 
• Proper apology have 3 parts:
• What I did was wrong
• I feel badly that I hurt you
• How do I make this better?
• Bad apologies:
• I am sorry you feel hurt by what I've done
• I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done
• More than one way to measure Profits:
• There is more than one way to measure profits and losses. One every level, institutions can and should have a heart
• No job is beneath you:
• AI: Work in different fields, part time over weekends to experience all jobs
• Ex: Be a teacher, be a cab driver, be a hard laborer, be a vegetable vendor, be a farmer
• It makes no sense to talk about rights without also talking about responsibilities
• When we're connected to others, we become better people
• Everyone has to contribute to the common good. To not do so can be described in one word: Selfish
• All you have to do is Ask
• Don't hesitate to ask for time of senior & important people
• AI: Create an yearly get together with close friends
• AI: Check out website: Stop sucking and live a life of Abundance
• Encourage kids to ask full sentence questions instead of they  saying just "why?"
• For kids: I want them to find their own path to fulfillment

Regards,

Vish

The One Minute Manager

Pouring out my thoughts:
What is the use of reading books and acquiring knowledge, if you don't use it?

Well, I have been reading many books but was lazy to note down my top ideas out of the book. After a few months or years, when some one asked me about the book, I knew I read it. But cannot remember what were the important take away. Hence Jotting down my take aways from the book - " The One minute manager". I shall strive to note points from each book I read hence forth,

_________________________________________________________________________________

This 100 page book - "The One Minute Manager", by Kenneth Blanchard & Spencer Johnson, is a simple read and I completed it in a day. Most of the ideas were familiar to me as I have been reading similar leadership books and attending training.

Personally, I may not like to be the "One minute manager" especially about being harsh and to the point about not repeating some important points to your team members. But some times I think it is necessary.

There are good ideas that we can practically implement. Glad that I already practice the concept of "one minute praise" and "Catching them doing good".

Read along for take aways- 

1. People who feel good about them themselves, produce Good results
2. Help people reach their full potential. Catch them doing something right
3. The best minute I spend is the one I invest in people
4. Every one is a potential winner. Some are disguised as losers. Don't let their appearances fool you
5. Take a minute: 
1. Look at your goals. Look at your performance. see if your behavior matches your goals
6. We are not just our behaviors. We are person managing our behavior
7. Important quote:
1. Goals begin behaviors. Consequences maintain them
8. One Minute Goal setting- This is something I need to adopt
1. Agree on a goal, write it under 250 words and have clarity on what is good behavior and expectation
2. Read it regularly and see whether your behavior matches the goal
3. I like the story of training pegion in a box to push a lever and a whale to jump over the rope
4. We need to help others know what is expected, followed up with rewards. Start the expectation low. Hence catch them quickly when they do it right
9. One Minute Praising
1. Tell people from the start that you are going to let them know how they are doing
1. I need to do this aspect
2. Praise people immediately for a specific right thing they did
3. Tell them how good you feel about it and how organization benefits- Show biger picture
1. Again, I don't do this often
4. Pause for a moment. Let them feel how good you feel. Let it sink in
5. Encourage them to do more and show support through gestures- hand shake, touch etc
10. One Minute Reprimand
1. Use this only with experienced who knows what to do, but fails to do
2. Tell them that you are going to talk about how they are doing in no "uncertain terms"
3. First half
1. Highlight what they specifically did wrong
2. Talk about how you feel about what they did wrong
3. Pause. Let it sink in
4. Second half
1. Shake hands or touch them to inform that you are honestly on their side
2. Remind how much you value them
3. Reaffirm that you think well of them but not their performance in this instance
5. Don't get hung up on reprimand. Once these two steps are done. It is done

Wisdom comes by applying the knowledge. What else is the use of knowledge. Let us use these techniques to make the corporate world a better place.
Thank you authors for sharing this worldly wisdom. :)

Urs,
Vish

Bring out the best in people

If you are a leader, manager or a technical lead, bringing out the best in people is your number one priority. Your primary job is to enable your team to perform at their best and you seek out ways to do that. In my pursuit of the same as a Tech lead, I came across a good read and would like to share my nuggets and my thoughts about the book- "Bringing out the Best in people" by Aubrey Daniels.

If you have been reading psychology or behavioral analysis, some of the concepts in this book are easy to understand. Except the technical terminology antecedent, consequence, PIC table etc which need to be familiarized.
Before delving into a few concepts in this book, lets familiarize ourselves with these terminologies.

Antecedent:
As per Wiki, An antecedent is a stimulus that cues an organism to perform a learned behavior. When an organism perceives an antecedent stimulus, it behaves in a way that maximizes reinforcing consequences and minimizes punishing consequences.
Consequence: 
It is the result that follows after a behavior or action



My top ideas from the book

1. Be aware of Antecedents and Consequences present in your team/company. Antecedents set the event which results in behavior or action. After the behavior team member will receive consequence ( reward or punishment). This is called ABC model
1. Ex: What are the stimulus available for your team members to take up tasks, execute projects and complete them on time with quality? 
2. Is it because they are paid to do? Or are they motivated enough to do great work and help the team or company? Are they excited about the challenging task?
3. What are the consequences of doing a job? Do they have sufficient consequences to reward employees for a great job? or They are punished immediately with next task or more tasks?
4. Are their victories celebrated? Are they given opportunities to talk about their achievements in the team meetings?
2. Performance Management is providing and controlling antecedents and consequences. Analyse the antecedent and consequence based on Positive/Negative, Immediate/Future & Certain/Uncertain
3. When giving rewards, don't make the tangible rewards the highest priority. Instead the tangible rewards should help employees remember their achievements
1. For example, if you have budget to give costly rewards for great performance, then great. But if you don't, even you can give small rewards and present them to make them feel good. You may say, "Dear Suresh, this is a gift for your to help you remember your achievement".
4. Let the performer bask in the glory. The presentation ceremony should not be just receiving for performers, rather participatory. For example, instead of saying this award is for your so and so achievement and be done, ask employee how difficult or challenging that achievement was?
5. Model for performance problem solving
1. Pinpoint
2. Record
1. Measure
2. Feedback
3. Consequate or Reinforce
4. Evaluate

If you are using a different method of motivating your employees, do write in the comments.

Love,

Vish

Why are Goals Important?

On the best sunny day, the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if you keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it, the paper will light up. That is the power of concentration.

A man was traveling and stopped at an intersection. He asked an elderly man, "Where does this road take me?" The elderly person asked, "Where do you want to go?" The man replied, "I don't know." The elderly person said, "Then take any road. What difference does it make?"

How true. When we don't know where we are going, any road will take us there.

Suppose you have all the football eleven players, enthusiastically ready to play the game, all charged up, and then someone took the goal post away. What would happen to the game? There is nothing left. How do you keep score? How do you know you have arrived?

Enthusiasm without direction is like wildfire and leads to frustration. Goals give a sense of direction. Would you sit in a train or a plane without knowing where it was going? The obvious answer is no. Then why do people go through life without having any goals?

Source : Email of FOLK-
Friends of Lord Krishna (FOLK)
Hare Krishna Movement, Chennai

Urs,
Vish

The Employment?

Just reflect on this video and a long deep sigh follows....

Urs,
Vish

The Paradox of Clarity

The Paradox of Clarity

Phase 1: When we really have clarity of purpose, it leads to success.
Phase 2: When we have success, it leads to more options and opportunities.
Phase 3: When we have increased options and opportunities, it leads to diffused efforts.
Phase 4: Diffused efforts undermine the very clarity that led to our success in the first place.

If not overstated:  success is a catalyst for failure.
The above is an interesting read from HBR review.

I was reflecting on childhood days and student life with one of my friends. We were discussing that as a student we had more time to focus on what is essential and thus were very successful in what ever pursuits we had. As we grew older and after some amount of success we are finding difficult to get time to focus on what really matters. 
The suggestions to avoid falling prey to above paradox:

• First, use more extreme criteria - Do I really love this? Am I passionate about this?
• Ask “What is essential?” and eliminate the rest: Ruthlessly remove time fillers and focus on the primary passionate motive that one has
• Beware of the endowment effect: Refers to our tendency to value an item more once we own it.

The phrase "Declutter Life" was occupying my office board for sometime now but the importance of that phrase becomes obvious with the above paradox.

Urs,
Vish

Further references: "How the Mighty Fall", Jim Collins
 

Precommitment – Commiting now against the whims of future

In the movie, Young Frankenstein, the hero asks his assistants to lock him in a room and commands them not to open the door, no matters how terribly he may scream or how hard he may cry. He knows he will want to come out, so he enlists others to subordinate his later wishes according to the present wishes, which he prefers now. This is called precommitment in the field of self-control studies because it involves acting now against the strength of some later desires, either by taking some options off the table or making them prohibitively costly.

The economists Dean Karlan and John Romalis had a similar concept in the form of a pact to control and reduce their body weight. They had this cleaver little deal that each would have to lose 38 pounds in six months or forfeit half of one’s annual salary to the other. If both failed, the one who lost less would forfeit a quarter of his income to the other. They both lost weight but Romali’s weight popped back up over the limit and Karlan collected $15000 from the other.  Karlan had to accept the amount to keep the credibility of the system, without which they’d both get fat.

Karlan, now a professor in Yale, embarked on a venture www.stickK.com, based on precommitment. It enables users to contractually control our own actions, or if violated the agreement, face a penalty that we have chosen. The website has a rakish motto:  "Put  a contract out on yourself!". There are several ready-made binding agreements to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise regularly or any thing which you want to set as goals. You can choose your own agreement, terms and referee - who would monitor your progress on the set goals.

There could be many other ways to impose the fine other than just monetary, like sending an email to friend or group regarding your failure of achieving the goal. If money is involved, the stick.com would transfer the money to charity or a friend that you have chosen whenever you fail.  The website doesn’t take you money whether you fail or succeed other than just the transaction fee.

If you want achieve your goal at any cost, make your risk very high if you lose. You can do so by picking an enemy (called Anti-Charity) who will get the incentive if you fail in your goal. This will have highest achieving rate as you wouldn’t like to lose to your enemy.

A similar venture is Gym-Pact which is specifically to achieve exercise related goals. The catch here is one have to specify how many days one would visit the Gym and the extra amount paid for each missed day.

One can rely only on will power, but precommitment come handy to prevent yielding to sudden desire at later point of time as we know no one is perfect.

Savings and Lottery

Giving the poor an opportunity to precommit for the saving increased their overall saving remarkably by 81%.  People were given a piggy bank whose key is with a bank and were not allowed to open their savings till a specified date. This kind of experiment worked as individuals are restrained into eating their savings.

For the retirement accounts, many people prefer early-withdrawal penalties because they knew how susceptible they would be to the temptation of crack open their own nest eggs and they want the barriers left in place to keep themselves away.

Some people put their money in the numbers game, where people bet $1 or half on a three digit number and if they get lucky, they would get around 500$. The odd of winning the lottery is 1 in 1000 and hence they would get $500 for every 1000 bettings. Even though it is a negative interest on saving, but the people are saving at the first place compared to spending the dollar or two.

Paternalism

Human beings have inertia in their lives. They go with default option unless it is very much required them to change it. For example, the automatic enrollment of employees in 401K saving scheme in a company had increased the employee enrollment to 86% from 49% just by changing the default option from self-enrolment to automatic enrollment.

StcikK.com helps people to do this kind of thing for themselves. It allows people to decide which long-term goals they embrace, in effect by becoming their own paternalists. As Vito Corleone might have put it, stickK.com wants you to make yourself an offer you can’t refuse. J

People

Human relationships are important in many ways in the society, but in the self-control arena we are dependent on them as we simply cannot bind our own wills without the help of other people. It is always advisable to tell everyone or blog about your goals/resolutions. You are more likely to uphold them since your reputation is at stake and this acts as a moderating force.

Speed and proximity kill self-control; it pays to keep a buffer of time and space between you and the most dubious gratifications. The Wall Street Journal cities the example of a person who destroyed the online access code for his 401k so he could no longer have instant access to his retirement accounts. His goal was to make it significantly harder and to require human interaction before he could take out money from the account.

Summary: Self-regulation will always be a challenge, unless somebody is going to be in charge (it might as well be ourselves).

-Vish

Excerpts from : http://reason.com/archives/2011/04/18/commit-yourself/singlepage

Never Give Up !

Its madness -

To hate all roses, because you got scratched by one thorn.

To give up all your dreams, because one did not come true.

To lose faith in prayers, because one was not answered.

To give up on your efforts, because one of them failed.

To condemn all your friends, because one of them betrayed.

Not to believe anyone, because someone was unfaithful.

Remember that, another chance may come up.

Never give up!



--
Courtesy:
Friends of Lord Krishna (FOLK)
Hare Krishna Movement, Chennai

Be Worry - Free

When we are happy and worry-free, we not only enjoy our lives more, but we are also more competent, creative, wise, and productive. We bring out the best in others and in ourselves. Without the internal distractions of stress, anger, frustration, and worry, our relationships flourish, stress is diminished, new doors are opened, and our lives run smoothly.

We worry about all sorts of things; some obvious, others more subtle. We worry, for example, about making or repeating mistakes or looking foolish. We worry about what others will think if we ask for help or ask for a raise. We worry about speaking to groups, about our future, and about the past.

What well does worry really do us? Some would argue that it’s “wise” to worry, that it somehow proves that you’re able to anticipate problems. Yet while being able to anticipate problems is certainly useful, I disagree that doing so requires worry.
   
Worry is actually a dream-snatcher. It takes an enormous toll on your spirits and on your emotions. Worry adversely affects your decisions and your judgment, keeping you on-edge, uptight, and heavyhearted.

If you know successful people in any field, you’ll find a thread of consistency that runs through virtually everyone – they don’t worry much. Interestingly enough, however, the lack of worry preceded their success and was not a by-product of it. Successful people share an inner unshakable confidence that is free from excessive worry.

Part of overcoming worry is to see it as a distraction rather than as a necessity. As worries enter your mind, try to give them less significance and less of your attention.


Source -
Friends of Lord Krishna (FOLK)
Hare Krishna Movement, Chennai

Implications of Thinking Big

The implications of thinking big are widespread and impressive. Thinking big is a magic door opener that broadens your perspective and allows you to see new opportunities. Thinking big makes life easier and a lot more fun.

I’ve been repeatedly reminded by successful people in virtually every field that thinking big is one of the keys to success. Let’s consider a few examples. Successful insurance salespersons insist that it takes the identical amount of time to speak to someone about a million-dollar policy as it does a one-thousand-dollar policy.
  
The bigger your visions, the larger your potential for success. If you’re trying to sell homes for a living, as an agent, it takes the same amount of energy to ask a wealthy person for their listing as it does a low-end homeowner. You can think small, or you can think big.
  
As usual, the primary reason many people think too small is fear. Thoughts like, “I can’t speak to a room full of people,” “I can’t risk taking on a larger project,” and “I couldn’t ask the boss to have lunch with me” fill the mind and are taken too seriously. When fearful thoughts enter the mind, try to banish them. The fear you are experiencing is almost always self-created and usually unnecessary.
  
Could you be thinking in larger terms? In most cases, the answer is yes! There may be ways that you can reach more people with the same amount of effort. Regardless of the business you are in, the first step is to eliminate any fear or worry that is getting in your way. As your worrisome thoughts gradually disappear and become less appealing, new ideas and insights will begin to emerge.


Source -
Friends of Lord Krishna (FOLK)
Hare Krishna Movement, Chennai

Handling Criticism

This is a newsletter of HareKrishna movement and worth sharing it. This is how it reads...

To become a top performer, you’ll need to open yourself up to feedback from those around you. Here are some steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism and begin to make it work for you, instead of against you.

1.Hit the Pause Button - It’s important to maintain your composure and not lash back or respond defensively to criticism. Take a breath. Don’t do or say anything. This brief pause not only helps you compose yourself and prepare to listen to what the other person has to say, it demonstrates your poise and self-confidence. Maintaining your composure when criticized shows that you’re in control.

2.Turn On Your Brain and Turn Off Your Emotions - It’s important to disconnect your automatic emotional response to criticism. Otherwise you won’t be able to objectively consider the value of the information. Focus on the words and facts, not on the feelings they generate within you. Regardless of how undiplomatic the other person is in delivering the feedback, tell yourself that it is designed to help you improve, not to tear you down.

3.Listen Carefully - Listen intently to what the other person is saying. If you’re busy formulating your rebuttal, you may miss some valuable information that can help you avoid errors in the future or improve your overall performance.

While any criticism can be discouraging, it’s important to keep in mind that negative feedback can contribute significantly to faster growth and higher performance.