Bring out the best in people

If you are a leader, manager or a technical lead, bringing out the best in people is your number one priority. Your primary job is to enable your team to perform at their best and you seek out ways to do that. In my pursuit of the same as a Tech lead, I came across a good read and would like to share my nuggets and my thoughts about the book- "Bringing out the Best in people" by Aubrey Daniels.

If you have been reading psychology or behavioral analysis, some of the concepts in this book are easy to understand. Except the technical terminology antecedent, consequence, PIC table etc which need to be familiarized.
Before delving into a few concepts in this book, lets familiarize ourselves with these terminologies.

Antecedent:
As per Wiki, An antecedent is a stimulus that cues an organism to perform a learned behavior. When an organism perceives an antecedent stimulus, it behaves in a way that maximizes reinforcing consequences and minimizes punishing consequences.
Consequence: 
It is the result that follows after a behavior or action



My top ideas from the book

1. Be aware of Antecedents and Consequences present in your team/company. Antecedents set the event which results in behavior or action. After the behavior team member will receive consequence ( reward or punishment). This is called ABC model
1. Ex: What are the stimulus available for your team members to take up tasks, execute projects and complete them on time with quality? 
2. Is it because they are paid to do? Or are they motivated enough to do great work and help the team or company? Are they excited about the challenging task?
3. What are the consequences of doing a job? Do they have sufficient consequences to reward employees for a great job? or They are punished immediately with next task or more tasks?
4. Are their victories celebrated? Are they given opportunities to talk about their achievements in the team meetings?
2. Performance Management is providing and controlling antecedents and consequences. Analyse the antecedent and consequence based on Positive/Negative, Immediate/Future & Certain/Uncertain
3. When giving rewards, don't make the tangible rewards the highest priority. Instead the tangible rewards should help employees remember their achievements
1. For example, if you have budget to give costly rewards for great performance, then great. But if you don't, even you can give small rewards and present them to make them feel good. You may say, "Dear Suresh, this is a gift for your to help you remember your achievement".
4. Let the performer bask in the glory. The presentation ceremony should not be just receiving for performers, rather participatory. For example, instead of saying this award is for your so and so achievement and be done, ask employee how difficult or challenging that achievement was?
5. Model for performance problem solving
1. Pinpoint
2. Record
1. Measure
2. Feedback
3. Consequate or Reinforce
4. Evaluate

If you are using a different method of motivating your employees, do write in the comments.

Love,

Vish

Is She the ONE?

Generic Purpose: To entertain the audience

Specific Purpose: Is she the one?

 Speech organizing type: Three incidents in chronological order

Idea/Foundational phrase: Is she the one?

Characters: My father, the girls I Visited

Project 4: ACB Entertainment Manual

Title: Is she the One?

 Opening (60 words)

In India, you get to marry only once. And marriage is like skydiving. You only get one chance to get it right. And the secret to get it right is find the right person. So, the puzzling question for me and for most of us was how do you find the right person? How do you know if “she is the one”?

Dear Toastmasters, Guest and all the people who eagerly want to get married, Good evening!

Today I am going to narrate you my experience of finding the One.

My Intro (97 words)

I am an engineer with good understanding of grids and graphs but not girls. I didn’t know what to look for in a life partner. So I went to my godfather, google and asked “How to check if she is the one?”

There came 1 lakh 67 thousand results. I skimmed through each of them carefully and made a check list of top ten aspects to look for. She should be educated, slim, beautiful, fair working woman with long hair and so on. I was quipped and ready to meet girls in an arranged setting.  

Girl 1 (165 words)

The first girl I visited was a software engineer. After initial discussion with her family and light snack and tea, I was eagerly looking at the door for the girl to enter. A slim, cute and short girl came and sat in the chair opposite to me. She was good looking and seemed to match my checklist. The question puzzled me was “Is she the one?”

With permission of her father I went to talk to her privately. After initial Hi-Hello, I hesitantly asked” What are your hobbies?”

Girl: “ I am interested in Travelling. I want to visit all the countries after marriage and finally settle in US.”

Me: “Nice. That’s a good hobby.”

I do not plan to settle in US.  We were not compatible to each other. I immediately started looking eagerly at the door. This time to exit.

A software programmer updates his code after failed case, I updated my checklist. Point 11. Girl who is willing to settle in India.

Girl 2 ( 155 words)

The next Girl I met was a Doctor. She was a fair, tall and confident person who came in a green saree. Whenever she talked, the swinging ear rings with the white glittering stones caught my attention. My heart pounded heavily and asked me: Is she the one?

It was time for the private talk. I asked my well prepared question:

What are your hobbies?

Girl: My work is my hobby. I am a veterinarian surgeon who operates rats and frogs : cut them, observe the functioning of heart, liver.. Before she could finish, I was running away throw the exit door.  

Point 12. No Doctors

Months passed by. I met many girls and had many debacles. One day I sat at my home, sadly looking at my check list. It grew from one page into 10 pages and from 10 points to 101 points. Somehow I was unable to answer myself “Is she the one?”

Guidance ( 50 words)

My mother came and sat beside me, looked at the check list in my hand and gave a sigh. she put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Son, Stop asking the Question : Is she the one?

Instead, take the conscious decision of making a person your soulmate.

Climax (108 words)

It was 10 in the morning. She gracefully walked through the door and sat on the chair opposite to me. She wore a white creamish dress that went well with her skin tone. The strands of hair were falling on her forehead and she was gently pushing them back of the ear. She was looking gorgeous.   I mentally pushed aside the check list and the question- Is she the one?

 Instead of matching her to my check list, I tried to understand her. We also chatted online and understood each other better. We were not perfectly aligned on all views, but were compatible and respected each other. After a week, I consciously chose my soulmate.

Conclusion ( 84 words)

Dear Toastmasters and friends, some of you have successfully chose your life partner and some of you are in the process. The process of finding the right girl in an arranged setting is dramatic, fun filled and nervous experience all at the same time. I realized that we cannot find our Cinderella who fits our magic shoe. Instead, first I chose my Cinderella and am planning to make her a magic shoe that fits her. That’s how I know that “She is the one!! “ J

IF- By Rudyard Kipling

A wonderful poem!! Great source of motivation and it can help you guide through your life during difficult situations!!

In this world of rat race, chaos and uncertainty, this shall be a light tower of virtues to help us reach the sea shore.

Savour the Peom,

-Vish

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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools!

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)

How to prepare for an Icebreaker?

Following are the aspects one need to consider for his/her Icebreaker speech

Objectives of a good Icebreaker

• Icebreaker speech asks you to speak in front of the audience and help your audience to get to know you. That's all !! :) 
• How?
• By giving insights into your life- from childhood to your present life
• This should include where you are born, Family details, Education, hobbies, your aspiration etc..
• Why?
• To build a personal connect with audience whom you are going to make friends. Probably for life time!! 
• Also, It helps to connect with like minded people 
• Ex: same alumni, same state, same future aspirations or hobbies)
• Speech duration : 4 to 6 mins with 30 sec grace time
• Considering the average word count (100/120 words per minute). Recommended word count is 500-550 words
• Have an Opening, Body and Conclusion

Please answer these questions for yourself

1. Will audience know me better after my speech?
2. Am I speaking about all the important aspects of my life?
3. Is there any take away message from my life to the audience? ( optional)

You can find the descriptive Icebreaker document from Toastmaster at this link. 

Yours,

Vish

Owner of a Lonely Heart

"Owner Of A Lonely Heart"



Lyrics
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Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser

See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you - and that's the only way

Shake - shake yourself
You're every move you make
So the story goes

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Say - you don't want to chance it
You've been hurt so before

Watch it now
The eagle in the sky
How he dancin' one and only
You - lose yourself
No not for pity's sake
There's no real reason to be lonely
Be yourself
Give your free will a chance
You've got to want to succeed

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart

After my own decision
They confused me so
My love said never question your will at all
In the end you've got to go
Look before you leap
And don't you hesitate at all - no no
Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart
[repeat]

Owner of a lonely heart

Sooner or later each conclusion
Will decide the lonely heart
It will excite it will delight
It will give a better start

Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart

Don't deceive your free will at all
Don't deceive your free will at all
Don't deceive your free will at all
Just receive it

Owner of a lonely heart
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Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/yes/ownerofalonelyheart.html

Urs,
Vish