The Last Lecture- Lessons in Living

What will you do if you have only a few months to Live? How will you make it count? How will you ensure that your legacy is left?

Author and the Professor, Randy Paush, summarized his life and his thoughts in a concise and crisp fashion in this book called - "The Last Lecture- Lessons in Living". He was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and knew that he has only a few months to live. In this book, he explained his mental agitation in handling the news, tried to make sense from his past experiences in life and give a message to the future. I became emotional reading the last chapter where he embraces her wife, Jay, after his last lecture, kisses her as she whispers in his ears- "Please don't die!!". What a dramatic, emotional and heavy moment!

We all know that we have a limited amount of time on this planet, yet we behave as if we are here for ever. Randy has come face to face with truth because of cancer and battled bravely with it. May his soul rest in peace.

Hope we all realize this universal truth that our time is limited and we should make every second and every minute count. :)

I would like to say to my Wife,  Anusha, "I love you"!
I love you Dad & Mom and I love you my Sisters!

Top ideas/inspirations from this book

• Advice on how to negotiate better: "Never make a decision until you have to"
• If you are in a position of strength, you have to play fair
• Just because you are in the driver's seat, doesn't mean you have to run people over
• Have something to bring to the table, that will make you more welcom
• Working on Fundamentals : 
• You have got to get the fundamentals right, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work
• Good football analogy- How may are touching the ball at any moment?
• Only one! Hence we need to work on what the other 21 guys are doing :) 
• When you are screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you
• AI - Watch the movie "Star Trek" & observe Kirk's leadership skills
• Kirk was the distilled essence of a dynamic manager- a guy knew how to delegate, had the passion to inspire and looked good in what he wore to the work
• Shanter, who played Kirk, was the ultimate example of a man who knew what he didn't know, was perfectly willing to admit it, and didn't want to leave until he understood. That's Heroic to me
• Kirk- "I don't believe in No-Win scenario"
• AI - Let other people finish their sentences while they are talking. Don't prompt or suggest words
• AI - If you don't know what should be the bar for your team, just say- 
• Guys, that was pretty good, but I know you can do better
• Randy on winning Stuffed animal- 
• I didn't want anyone to know how long it took me to be successful. Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something
• Randy's mantra: 
• The brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. They are there to give us a chance to prove how badly we want something.
• Brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people. 
• Sometimes the most impenetrable brick walls are made of flesh ( about other people as hurdles)
• Do your preparation or home work on the topic before you meet any expert. This projects a good image of you and shows your preparedness. Also, it is easy to look smart when you're parroting the smart people. So go out and get knowledge from all the smart people you know
• AI- Start my Imagineer team! 
• Be supportive to your wife. If you love her, support her
• Cars should be used as Utilitarian devices and not to show social status. If you have dents and still it runs fine, I would use them
• You buy new clothes when your old clothes wear out! 
• Time Management tips
• Time must be explicitly managed like Money
• Have to-do list with small tasks of steps. Ex: Don't put get healthy. Write- go to gym 1hr
• Ask- Am I spending time on right things?
• Learn to effectively Delegate
• Take time out (no emails or business calls!)
• Only way any of us can improve is if we develop a real ability to assess ourselves. If we can't accurately do that, how can we tell if we're getting better or worse?
• Getting people to welcome feedback is the hardest thing
• Give yourself permission to dream. Fuel your Kid's dreams too! 
• Somehow, with the passage of time and the deadlines that life imposes, surrendering became the right thing to do
• Don't complain, Just work harder
• If you put one-tenth of energy you put into complaining and applied it to problem solving, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out
• AI - Read life stories of Jackie Robinson & Sandy Blatt
• Complaining doesn't work as a Strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it wont make us happier
• Treat the Disease, not the Symptoms
• Ex: She would breathe out in meditation, telling herself that her money problems would one day be behind her
• Her symptoms were stress and anxiety. Her disease was the money she owed
• AI:How can I apply this and help my father?
• Team work-
• Find things you have in common
• Try for optimal meeting conditions. Ex: find lunch, coffee etc
• Let everyone talk
• Praise each other
• Check egos at the door
• Phrase alternatives as questions:
• AI : Ex: Instead of "I think we should do A, not B", say "What if we did A, instead of B?"
• AI: Important to Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do
• This will help to understand the other person
• Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity
• It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit... and keep moving forward
• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
• Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other. Send handwritten - Thank you notes to express sincere gratitude
• Hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster
• Go out and do for others what somebody did for you
• Be prepared and have contingency plans. Ex: Randy's friend having extra bulb in projector
• How do deliver apology: 
• Proper apology have 3 parts:
• What I did was wrong
• I feel badly that I hurt you
• How do I make this better?
• Bad apologies:
• I am sorry you feel hurt by what I've done
• I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done
• More than one way to measure Profits:
• There is more than one way to measure profits and losses. One every level, institutions can and should have a heart
• No job is beneath you:
• AI: Work in different fields, part time over weekends to experience all jobs
• Ex: Be a teacher, be a cab driver, be a hard laborer, be a vegetable vendor, be a farmer
• It makes no sense to talk about rights without also talking about responsibilities
• When we're connected to others, we become better people
• Everyone has to contribute to the common good. To not do so can be described in one word: Selfish
• All you have to do is Ask
• Don't hesitate to ask for time of senior & important people
• AI: Create an yearly get together with close friends
• AI: Check out website: Stop sucking and live a life of Abundance
• Encourage kids to ask full sentence questions instead of they  saying just "why?"
• For kids: I want them to find their own path to fulfillment

Regards,

Vish

The One Minute Manager

Pouring out my thoughts:
What is the use of reading books and acquiring knowledge, if you don't use it?

Well, I have been reading many books but was lazy to note down my top ideas out of the book. After a few months or years, when some one asked me about the book, I knew I read it. But cannot remember what were the important take away. Hence Jotting down my take aways from the book - " The One minute manager". I shall strive to note points from each book I read hence forth,

_________________________________________________________________________________

This 100 page book - "The One Minute Manager", by Kenneth Blanchard & Spencer Johnson, is a simple read and I completed it in a day. Most of the ideas were familiar to me as I have been reading similar leadership books and attending training.

Personally, I may not like to be the "One minute manager" especially about being harsh and to the point about not repeating some important points to your team members. But some times I think it is necessary.

There are good ideas that we can practically implement. Glad that I already practice the concept of "one minute praise" and "Catching them doing good".

Read along for take aways- 

1. People who feel good about them themselves, produce Good results
2. Help people reach their full potential. Catch them doing something right
3. The best minute I spend is the one I invest in people
4. Every one is a potential winner. Some are disguised as losers. Don't let their appearances fool you
5. Take a minute: 
1. Look at your goals. Look at your performance. see if your behavior matches your goals
6. We are not just our behaviors. We are person managing our behavior
7. Important quote:
1. Goals begin behaviors. Consequences maintain them
8. One Minute Goal setting- This is something I need to adopt
1. Agree on a goal, write it under 250 words and have clarity on what is good behavior and expectation
2. Read it regularly and see whether your behavior matches the goal
3. I like the story of training pegion in a box to push a lever and a whale to jump over the rope
4. We need to help others know what is expected, followed up with rewards. Start the expectation low. Hence catch them quickly when they do it right
9. One Minute Praising
1. Tell people from the start that you are going to let them know how they are doing
1. I need to do this aspect
2. Praise people immediately for a specific right thing they did
3. Tell them how good you feel about it and how organization benefits- Show biger picture
1. Again, I don't do this often
4. Pause for a moment. Let them feel how good you feel. Let it sink in
5. Encourage them to do more and show support through gestures- hand shake, touch etc
10. One Minute Reprimand
1. Use this only with experienced who knows what to do, but fails to do
2. Tell them that you are going to talk about how they are doing in no "uncertain terms"
3. First half
1. Highlight what they specifically did wrong
2. Talk about how you feel about what they did wrong
3. Pause. Let it sink in
4. Second half
1. Shake hands or touch them to inform that you are honestly on their side
2. Remind how much you value them
3. Reaffirm that you think well of them but not their performance in this instance
5. Don't get hung up on reprimand. Once these two steps are done. It is done

Wisdom comes by applying the knowledge. What else is the use of knowledge. Let us use these techniques to make the corporate world a better place.
Thank you authors for sharing this worldly wisdom. :)

Urs,
Vish

Bring out the best in people

If you are a leader, manager or a technical lead, bringing out the best in people is your number one priority. Your primary job is to enable your team to perform at their best and you seek out ways to do that. In my pursuit of the same as a Tech lead, I came across a good read and would like to share my nuggets and my thoughts about the book- "Bringing out the Best in people" by Aubrey Daniels.

If you have been reading psychology or behavioral analysis, some of the concepts in this book are easy to understand. Except the technical terminology antecedent, consequence, PIC table etc which need to be familiarized.
Before delving into a few concepts in this book, lets familiarize ourselves with these terminologies.

Antecedent:
As per Wiki, An antecedent is a stimulus that cues an organism to perform a learned behavior. When an organism perceives an antecedent stimulus, it behaves in a way that maximizes reinforcing consequences and minimizes punishing consequences.
Consequence: 
It is the result that follows after a behavior or action



My top ideas from the book

1. Be aware of Antecedents and Consequences present in your team/company. Antecedents set the event which results in behavior or action. After the behavior team member will receive consequence ( reward or punishment). This is called ABC model
1. Ex: What are the stimulus available for your team members to take up tasks, execute projects and complete them on time with quality? 
2. Is it because they are paid to do? Or are they motivated enough to do great work and help the team or company? Are they excited about the challenging task?
3. What are the consequences of doing a job? Do they have sufficient consequences to reward employees for a great job? or They are punished immediately with next task or more tasks?
4. Are their victories celebrated? Are they given opportunities to talk about their achievements in the team meetings?
2. Performance Management is providing and controlling antecedents and consequences. Analyse the antecedent and consequence based on Positive/Negative, Immediate/Future & Certain/Uncertain
3. When giving rewards, don't make the tangible rewards the highest priority. Instead the tangible rewards should help employees remember their achievements
1. For example, if you have budget to give costly rewards for great performance, then great. But if you don't, even you can give small rewards and present them to make them feel good. You may say, "Dear Suresh, this is a gift for your to help you remember your achievement".
4. Let the performer bask in the glory. The presentation ceremony should not be just receiving for performers, rather participatory. For example, instead of saying this award is for your so and so achievement and be done, ask employee how difficult or challenging that achievement was?
5. Model for performance problem solving
1. Pinpoint
2. Record
1. Measure
2. Feedback
3. Consequate or Reinforce
4. Evaluate

If you are using a different method of motivating your employees, do write in the comments.

Love,

Vish

Is She the ONE?

Generic Purpose: To entertain the audience

Specific Purpose: Is she the one?

 Speech organizing type: Three incidents in chronological order

Idea/Foundational phrase: Is she the one?

Characters: My father, the girls I Visited

Project 4: ACB Entertainment Manual

Title: Is she the One?

 Opening (60 words)

In India, you get to marry only once. And marriage is like skydiving. You only get one chance to get it right. And the secret to get it right is find the right person. So, the puzzling question for me and for most of us was how do you find the right person? How do you know if “she is the one”?

Dear Toastmasters, Guest and all the people who eagerly want to get married, Good evening!

Today I am going to narrate you my experience of finding the One.

My Intro (97 words)

I am an engineer with good understanding of grids and graphs but not girls. I didn’t know what to look for in a life partner. So I went to my godfather, google and asked “How to check if she is the one?”

There came 1 lakh 67 thousand results. I skimmed through each of them carefully and made a check list of top ten aspects to look for. She should be educated, slim, beautiful, fair working woman with long hair and so on. I was quipped and ready to meet girls in an arranged setting.  

Girl 1 (165 words)

The first girl I visited was a software engineer. After initial discussion with her family and light snack and tea, I was eagerly looking at the door for the girl to enter. A slim, cute and short girl came and sat in the chair opposite to me. She was good looking and seemed to match my checklist. The question puzzled me was “Is she the one?”

With permission of her father I went to talk to her privately. After initial Hi-Hello, I hesitantly asked” What are your hobbies?”

Girl: “ I am interested in Travelling. I want to visit all the countries after marriage and finally settle in US.”

Me: “Nice. That’s a good hobby.”

I do not plan to settle in US.  We were not compatible to each other. I immediately started looking eagerly at the door. This time to exit.

A software programmer updates his code after failed case, I updated my checklist. Point 11. Girl who is willing to settle in India.

Girl 2 ( 155 words)

The next Girl I met was a Doctor. She was a fair, tall and confident person who came in a green saree. Whenever she talked, the swinging ear rings with the white glittering stones caught my attention. My heart pounded heavily and asked me: Is she the one?

It was time for the private talk. I asked my well prepared question:

What are your hobbies?

Girl: My work is my hobby. I am a veterinarian surgeon who operates rats and frogs : cut them, observe the functioning of heart, liver.. Before she could finish, I was running away throw the exit door.  

Point 12. No Doctors

Months passed by. I met many girls and had many debacles. One day I sat at my home, sadly looking at my check list. It grew from one page into 10 pages and from 10 points to 101 points. Somehow I was unable to answer myself “Is she the one?”

Guidance ( 50 words)

My mother came and sat beside me, looked at the check list in my hand and gave a sigh. she put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Son, Stop asking the Question : Is she the one?

Instead, take the conscious decision of making a person your soulmate.

Climax (108 words)

It was 10 in the morning. She gracefully walked through the door and sat on the chair opposite to me. She wore a white creamish dress that went well with her skin tone. The strands of hair were falling on her forehead and she was gently pushing them back of the ear. She was looking gorgeous.   I mentally pushed aside the check list and the question- Is she the one?

 Instead of matching her to my check list, I tried to understand her. We also chatted online and understood each other better. We were not perfectly aligned on all views, but were compatible and respected each other. After a week, I consciously chose my soulmate.

Conclusion ( 84 words)

Dear Toastmasters and friends, some of you have successfully chose your life partner and some of you are in the process. The process of finding the right girl in an arranged setting is dramatic, fun filled and nervous experience all at the same time. I realized that we cannot find our Cinderella who fits our magic shoe. Instead, first I chose my Cinderella and am planning to make her a magic shoe that fits her. That’s how I know that “She is the one!! “ J